idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
