Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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