i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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