ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Randomize
