I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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