dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
