WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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