Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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