We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why did my mother make you get naked?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
