When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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