Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
