Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
