I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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