Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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