You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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