Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it hurts more in the daytime
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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