You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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