Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
