if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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