Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
