is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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