The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
