no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
