well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
