im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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