i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
