God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
