I think im going to throw up on grandma
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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