and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
