My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
