My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
