Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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