the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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