we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
