it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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