oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
