My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have aggressive nipples.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
