my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
