He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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