you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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