I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
