And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
