Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
