halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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