i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
