Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
