My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
