is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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