I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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