we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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