What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
